This weekend has been fabulous, but today things have been weighing heavy on my mind. Do you know those days when everything seems to hit you at once? It seems like everything I'm worried about tries to bother me all at once sometimes, and I can't shake the feeling. This morning I got up and got Emory and I ready for church. Andy decided to stay home because he has a huge project due Monday morning. On the way, Emory fell asleep and my mind just started drifting to different things that I've been worried about but always just push away. Usually these worries hit me one at a time on different occasions, but they all ran through my head over and over today, which was difficult.
First of all, I had a dream last night that was really weird. It was about an old friend who is no longer a friend to me. In the dream, I found out she was having a baby, and I wanted so badly to be there for her and reconnect with her. This morning the dream was really getting to me. Am I feeling bad about what happened between us? Does a part of me really want to reconnect with her? Is she still the same person that she was (which is ultimately why I decided to part ways), or is she more of a person that I could be friends with again?
I'm also worried about the future. Not my future necessarily, but a few people very close to me. One in particular is something that I feel I could help with if I had the nerve to say something to the person, to give advice to them, but I won't because I know it's not wanted and wouldn't be received well.
It just so happens that Bro. Jim was speaking today about giving advice. Isn't God humorous sometimes? Do we really accept advice the way God had intended us to? When we are failing, do we get defensive when a brother or sister comes to us and tries to help and offer their advice, like they are commanded to do? Instead of being grateful for them for saving us, we get defensive, mad, and upset and often blow up. This leads to us turning even more in the other direction ... all because of pride.
Anyway, after listening to the lecture, I decided on the way home that it was pretty pointless to worry about everything that had been crossing my mind on the way there and that I was commanded to not borrow worries from the future. That's basically not trusting that God will take care of us, anyway...but oh, so hard to think like that.
On to other news...I'm not quite ready to start the week yet. Emory's sleep patterns aren't what they used to be and she has been waking very frequently the past 2-3 weeks. She was only waking once at night, but for some reason all that has gone to pot. I am looking at trying to let her "cry it out" so I asked for advice from my fellow mom friends on Facebook. It seems like the general consensus says 45 minutes to an hour of crying is usually what it takes the first night. Sigh. Not really possible for a working mommy! So, I plan to try again this coming weekend. I originally started on Friday night but had a splitting headache all night long, so I just gave up. I couldn't bear letting her cry when my head was hurting so bad!
Highlights of the weekend:
Friday night Emory rolled over for the first time by herself! I was so proud of her!
Saturday morning Andy got up at 6:30 with Emory so I could sleep, brought me McDonald's HOTCAKES (my favorite) for breakfast (in BED), then went and did the dreaded Wal-Mart shopping while Emory and I went shopping and ate lunch with my mom, grandma, sister, and nephew! It was fabulous!
When I got home, we got some fun shots of Emory!
I then got to catch up on all my DVR'd shows that I missed this week - Private Practice, CSI, Law & Order, and Mercy. I LOVE having DVR, especially now that we have Emory and it's so hard to catch my favorite shows!
It's time for me to hit the sack. I hope everyone has a fabulous week and remember how blessed you are!
Matthew 6:34
"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
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