Getting Ready for Emory - 28 Weeks

Sigh..yet again I had an entire blog written and ready to come finish today and I just deleted the entire thing. It just didn't seem to fit everything that is going on in my mind today.

I am so thankful to be 28 weeks now. YES I know I have not updated my picture yet...just haven't gotten around to it. I like to try to get those when I look halfway decent which is usually never during the week! Emory is so active now. I have even felt her hiccup, which is definitely so exciting. I went to the doctor yesterday for my landmark 28 week visit. I was so excited because it is the beginning of so many things. For one, I have now entered into the 3rd trimester! Two, I now have to start going to the doctor every 2 weeks, which is another exciting step and I hope it will make the time go by faster. Third, I now get to get measured at each appointment also. He pulled out the measuring tape yesterday and said "you're big enough now that we can measure you" and I thought, "no kidding?!" But it was a neat experience.

Yesterday I also had my glucose test and a CBC drawn. I had to drink the dreaded orange sugar drink and wait an hour and then they drew my blood. As soon as I started drinking the drink, Dr. Garner came in and wanted me to lay down so he could listen to Emory's heartbeat. She immediately responded to the sugar! She kicked at him as he moved the doppler around!

Today I found out that my CBC came back great (meaning - no anemia) but, sadly, I did not pass my glucose test. Grrr...so I have to return tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. for my fasting 3 hour test. I'm a little nervous but just going to take it a step at a time. If I end up failing it means I have gestational diabetes, and if that is the case, I will do whatever I need to do to control it and keep us healthy. If I pass, great, but I still am going to try to watch what I eat. I really don't feel that I eat terrible, but there are times when I probably shouldn't eat that bowl of ice cream or whatever.

Andy has been super busy around the house and in his MBA program at U of A. He has really been on the ball trying to get the house finished and I'm so thankful to have him!

In other news...I have had a rather disappointing day but it's something I'd rather not discuss publicly at this point. I guess life hands you these types of days so you can appreciate the better ones.

Hopefully I will get a new picture posted soon. Just a few more weeks now...and in the meantime, fall is coming!!!

Philippians 4:6
"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Project E.L.I.

Below is an exerpt from my friend Jodie's blog.

“Thine eyes did see my substance being yet unperfect, and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”
(Psalm 139:16)

God has a special plan for each one of us before we are born. Some people live long lives to fulfill God’s plan, while others live only moments. Eli McGinley is one of those who lived only a few days but has made a huge impact on the world around him. He was born August 3 in Little Rock, Ark., with his twin brother Walker and passed away 5 days later on August 8.

Eli was born with spina bifida, a neural tube defect. His parents, Jesse and Jodie, allowed his birth to be videotaped for a documentary on raising a child with spina bifida. Although they never expected their son to be taken by his heavenly father so soon, they knew it was a part of God’s plan. The couple wants Eli’s life to touch many other families. They have donated his organs so that other children can live. The couple has also requested that loved ones donate to the unfinished video project that will now be named E.L.I. (Every Life Inspires).

The goal of the video is to be a source of comfort to families expecting a child with spina bifida. As the McGinley’s know, there are a lot of questions and anxiety that come with the pre-natal diagnosis. They hope their story, as well as the stories of other Arkansans touched by spina bifida will provide strength, comfort and hope to expecting parents.

Donations can be made to Community Connections, a 501(c)3 organization. Checks can be made out to Community Connections/Project: ELI and mailed to 2740 College Ave. Conway, AR 72034. The goal of Community Connections is to positively impact the lives and needs of children and families in Arkansas. The organization offers recreational activities for children with disabilities. For more information http://www.communityconnectionsar.org/.

To make a donation online, please visit http://www.firstgiving.com/elimcginley

Lead Me

In the dream, my father and I walk out of the thick forest to a huge clearing. All around the clearing stand tall trees that are so thick it is scary to try to look past them as there is nothing but a black abyss. My father and I start walking across the field, holding hands. He is leading me. I am scared; we are all alone in this clearing with scary forests all around. We get close to the other end of the clearing when we spot three huge deer. The deer aren’t really deer, though. They are deer to us, but they look like over-sized dogs. They walk right up to us, not in a friendly way, but I feel okay about it. I notice then that there are carcasses nearby, the skull of a huge animal along with a dead bird of some sort.

We are approaching the side of the clearing and the forest is in front of us. We spot an opening on the side where someone has made a trail, so my father leads me in that direction. However, we also spot two mountain lions in the thick. My father motions for me to be quiet as we enter the brush, heading in the opposite direction from where we spotted the cats. A snap from a branch. The cats turn toward us – we have been spotted. They expose their sharp, white, gleaming teeth. “They know we’re here,” he says; I can tell that this man that is scared of nothing is frightened. I wake up.

I don’t know why I had this dream last night, but I know it means something. While my dreams don’t always mean something, I feel strange about this one. I don’t know if it is the fact that I’m nearing something that I have no idea about in my life – the birth of my firstborn child – or if there is something I am subconsciously scared about that I just don’t realize. I know my father can stand for a variety of things in this dream. He has always been a safety net for me, a strong warrior, scared of nothing. But he is also my father, my second father, as I have another one that leads me throughout my fears as well in a different fashion. Perhaps there can be a spiritual lesson applied to this dream that I had last night – there is a scary, unknown, time ahead, but I am being led by my Father, whom I feel safe with despite the fear, whom I know will lead me in the right direction, away from harm, to safety.

This dream is probably the result of s t r e s s….stress in the form of finances, of my final MBA course, of my husband beginning his MBA, of feeling more exhausted each day as I get bigger, of family issues, of sadness for a friend and what she has been through lately, of excitement and fear regarding the birth of Emory. Of the unknown that lay ahead. Of the events that have led up to this point. Of what could happen…of the way the cards could fall.

The dream is a reminder that I can’t worry about these things. It reminds me of a hymn I can recite by heart that we sing occasionally on Sundays.

Lead me, Lord…Lead me in thy righteousness
Make thy way plain before my face
For it is thou, Lord…thou, Lord only
That makest me dwell in safety.

25 weeks…


Psalms 18:36
"Thou has enlarged my steps under me, that my feed did not slip."

Refuge

The past few days have been difficult, though I am not, by any means, the one that has is bearing the weight of the situation. A couple of days ago I posted a congratulations to a good friend of mine who gave birth to twin boys on Monday. I know she was so extatic to see her little boys and although there was some uncertainty regarding baby Eli, as he was found to have Spina Bifida, I don't think anyone was prepared for God's decision regarding this little one. Eli was found to have more problems than they had thought, including a brain that did not fully develop, and my friend and her husband were faced with the decision to take Eli off of life support as he would have no quality of life.

Yesterday they took Eli off of life support and this morning he passed away. It is so unfair and hard to grasp that this little one, who is only 4 days old, has now left this life. It's hard to offer comforting words when you can't even comfort yourself and you know the pain is much worse for those experiencing it. It's hard for me to find the right words to say to my family and friends that have asked how my friend is that was having twins, since I talk about her often in reference to my own pregnancy.

I spent a lot of time thinking Wednesday night about the decision that they had to make and how in one of her latest blogs, my friend expressed her fear of giving birth this first week of August, as 21 years ago her father passed away during this week, and one year ago she lost her second child through a miscarriage this week. My thoughts also raced back to the recent blog that said that my dear friend and her husband were donating Eli's organs in hopes that another struggling baby would survive. This got me thinking about the plans that God has that are clearly nothing that we have for ourselves. It made me think about how God gives us so much and He also takes away. It made me think of the circle of life, of her father dying 21 years ago as well as her second miscarriage, and now she has lost her third child. But, I also thought, in wonder, about the twin that is surviving. I thought about how he will never know his brother that he shared a tiny space with for 9 months and how he will only be a story that is told when he gets older. I thought about how he is truly a miracle.

It is hard to think about for anyone, but I think the fact that I am now approaching 7 months of pregnancy in the next few weeks, it has hit even harder than ever. I can't imagine saying good-bye when you have hardly gotten to say hello. She will go home and be faced with the overwhelming fact that what was once a nursery decorated for two will now only be for one. She will be faced with reminders that he is not there.

I can only pray that she will also be faced with reminders that his short life changed her and her family and that she is blessed with the miracle of another child, a twin that survived, along with the memory of Eli. I can only hope that with time she will know that she made the right decision during this bitter sweet first week of August. I can only imagine how strong the past two years have made her, and how God is working in her life. I hope and pray that this is only a strengthener of her faith and that she will understand that God will continue to be her rock and refuge during this time.

I feel like I have so much to say, but no way to say it...so I will just sign off and ask that everyone keep this family in your thoughts. Keep in mind how blessed we are...how it can so easily be taken away...and take the time to be thankful and tell those that you love how you feel.

Psalm 18:2
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the hornof my salvation, my stronghold."

Pregnancy Hormones or Just Stupid People?

What a week..! and it is only Wednesday!

I am battling a wide variety of emotions this week. I am stressed out, tired, anxious, and happy all at the same time. I have been working on my final projects for my Advanced Healthcare Administration class and my Capstone (FINAL course) class this week and it has proven to be exhausting. I am so ready to be done with these classes! My Capstone course is pretty tough, so I will be so relieved when I finish. Tomorrow starts week 6 of 6 and I am so incredibly relieved...or I will be, when my final projects are turned in.

I am so tired this week. I have started getting up at least one or two times a night now. As soon as I lay down my sweet Emory starts livin' la vida loca in my belly, which I don't mind, but it does make for an early morning. Also, we have now hit our yearly flea infestation.

Yes, that is right. FLEAS!

I hate fleas! We got them last year in the middle of the summer. We finally had the pest people come out and bomb our house and yard in order to get rid of them, which worked wonders, but we were so hoping they wouldn't come back this year. Unfortunately, they have, and with vengeance! I am so paranoid now and I always feel like they are crawling on me, which is an absolute dreadful feeling!! Andy took the dogs to the vet today and got them flea pills to take and he is supposed to call and set up the flea bomb for this week. We don't really have the money to be spending on this situation right now, but I'd rather eat Easy Mac every day then have fleas hopping on me!

Good news: Andy got accepted into the U of A MMBA program. I am excited, but a little nervous! It's a very rigorous program. He is required to go up to Fayetteville once a month for class, which isn't bad, but I know he will be really busy the next two years if he is able to land a full time job, be in school full time, and also have a newborn. But we will make it happen. The program is the best MBA program in the state so we are both very eager to see how this affects our future.

Bad news: I am incredibly touchy this week for some reason. I keep wondering if it is because I am full-fledged pregnant or if it's really the stupidity of other people. For instance, today I had to go to Drug Emporium in Little Rock (Yes - they did have a shooting in this area a few weeks ago) to buy some special food for some of our kiddos on special diets. I was walking out and about to cross into the parking lot. I stopped and looked both ways as the two women next to me did, when a loud scrreeeeeeaaaccchhh sounded. We all jumped back to see a ghetto girl in a ghetto car kicking some guy out of her passenger seat and yelling obscenities that I shudder thinking my unborn child could possibly hear. Terrified, the three of us attempted to cross into the parking lot, having seen that the ghetto girl was stopped and kicking the ghetto boy out of her car, when she scccreeeeacccchhheeed and floored it, zooming past us right as we crossed the street. All the while, she was yelling out the window, gold grill gleaming in the August sun, "Y'all call the po-leece! Call the po-leece on him!"

Needless to say, I ran to my car and shut my door and zoomed away. Honestly, I was shaking a little. Who knows what these crazy people can do? I am also a bit more scared - of everything - now that I am pregnant. I have always been the type of person to take on huge projects by myself, not realizing how small I really am, such as moving heavy objects or climbing on high ladders or whatnot. Now, the thought of getting on a ladder terrifies me only because there's a possibility I could fall.

So, I am learning what my new limits are at this point. It is quite obvious that I have some specific limits by looking at me. Below is my 24 week picture...actually 24 weeks 2 days.





I feel so not pretty in this picture. I have had to upgrade to bigger scrub pants and bigger shirts in order to not reveal my belly when I move around. However, you can clearly see my belly, along with our new wall treatment in the kitchen. It is a linen-type treatment.

I also have some pictures of Emory's room. The paint is *almost* done!



This is my lovely husband, very late at night, obviously excited that he finished the stripes on the walls.


Picture of the walls and bookcases. The bookcases, of course, are going to be cleaned out...as soon as we can figure out where to put all the books. I am not leaving the books in there, please rest assured! Notice the crib FULL of hand-me-down clothes and new clothes our friends and family have already given us!

The top is a very very pale pink - Baby's Basinnet, and the bottom is a pearl translucent paint with pink mixed in alternating with the color of the trim, an off-white. The pink is shimmery, but you can't really tell in the pictures.

So, we are making progress. I'm a little nervous about Andy starting school because he will be busy again - and we still need to finish painting the kitchen, finish the living room, make our headboard, finish the hall and nursery and extra bedroom and paint the crown in the bathroom and he wants to paint the bedroom and....

The list goes on and on. We will see how it all turns out. I'm sure once school is over I'll get restless and start doing all kinds of crazy things.

That is my update for the week. OH! I do want to announce that my friend, Jodie, had her twin boys on Monday. I am so happy for her! She was exactly 36 weeks along, which is significant for twins. Eli and Walker are doing great. Walker had to be put on oxygen when he was born as he was having slight trouble breathing, and Eli, as you may remember from my previous posts, has Spina Bifida. He was taken right away to Arkansas Children's Hospital for surgery. I haven't heard how that is all going, so please keep them in your prayers!

Until next week -

Joshua 1:9

"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest."